A Traitor In Court

Chapter 1


One fine day, in the kingdom of Alexandria, King Alexander sits on his throne, and discharges his royal duties, that is to say that King Alexander just sits on his throne and … well just sits.

Suddenly, he says to his minister of internal half-hairs, “By Jove, man! I’ve just been pondering…” “About what sire?” asked the minister in all earnest. “I’ve just been pondering ….” And a pause.

“Yes, m’lord?” “Oh, you know … I’ve just been pondering about wondering on what I should be thinking of. I’m sure that it must be something important; after all, I am Alexander you know …”

“I do indeed know m’lord” replied the minister, not a little perplexed. “As you should know. After all, I am the king and that comes with perks you know. Being famous and all.”

“Indeed m’lord”, said the minister begging and praying to God that he be spared this terrible ordeal. ”Hmmm …” thought the king and continued to ponder in wonder.



Chapter 2

 Meanwhile, in the near reaches of the far side of the nearby room, that is, the room next door, was seated the minister-of-all-things-that-were-sinful, or in short, Sinister. He was himself pondering, but unlike the king, he knew what he was pondering about, and that was to stop the king from pondering; in fact, to stop the king from doing anything at all; even living.

A plan was getting formed in his mind and with every passing instant of ponderous thought provoking wonder, the plan was becoming more and more lucid.

He rubbed his hands in glee and gave an evil smirk. Now the audience certainly knows that he is indeed the evil mastermind; well evil for sure but mastermind? Well, let’s just leave it at that for the time being.





Chapter 3

 If there was one thing that really fired up the passions of the people of Alexandria, it was the matter of economics. Before ‘The Great Recession’ hit the kingdom, not too many people actually bothered about the entire concept of economics. Indeed, not too many of them actually knew of the term ‘economics’ and they definitely didn’t even know of the existence of the minister-of- economic-issues-that-were-pretty-much-non-issues, much less his name. This story would be incomplete if the reader does not know of ‘the great recession’ that hit the kingdom of Alexandria.



Chapter 4

 It was one summer when everyone was very happy indeed and going about their business, when ‘TGR’ hit; and when it hit, the effect was indeed ghastly.

Everyone receded, some by two steps, and some by far greater distances, usually four or five. Now what caused this recession?

Well, the great Emperor, on a whim, one day decided that every piece of paper in the land would become money and that his kingdom would thus become the most prosperous in the world. Why did he do this? Well, he just felt like it.

And so, overnight, everyone became insanely rich. No one needed to work anymore. Farmers stopped farming and so there was no food. In fact, even the leaves stopped producing food for the trees because they argued that since paper was derived from them, they were rich beyond their wildest dreams and they would not work anymore.

There were media storms created, newscasters had a field day (though, why the newscasters decided to continue working, in spite of being insanely rich, had most people in a fix) and the minister-of- economic-issues-that-were-pretty-much-non-issues became an overnight celebrity (though no one still knew his name).

Now all this led to a serious predicament. No one did anything, anymore, and this posed a huge problem to the Emperor because he no longer had anyone to cater to his whims.



Chapter 5

And so, he came up with the most brilliant solution.

He announced “anyone found with any bits of paper(money), will be prosecuted and hanged until pronounced dead or the rope breaks(whichever happens first)”

And so, fearing the wrath of the almighty emperor, overnight, people burnt away all the paper that they had (the environmentalists went crazy and tried to stop the madness, citing the damage to the atmosphere, but they were thrown into the bonfire along with the paper).

Thus, parity was restored and Alexander had again became the supreme ruler of the land, and in addition, also became the richest man in the kingdom, yet again (inexplicably, when he had indeed collected all his paper to be burnt, he couldn’t find a matchstick to light the pile and he couldn’t call out for help because all his attendants were too busy burning their own paper).

So what was the role of the minister-of- economic-issues-that-were-pretty-much-non-issues  in all of this? Well, nothing really except maybe providing some absolutely indiscernible mumble about economic terms like ‘liquidity’ and ‘inflation’ that no one really understood or really cared about.

The final outcome?  People knew of the existence of the minister but still not his name.



Chapter 6

 Back in the room next to the throne room, Sinister’s grin had turned into a full-fledged evil laugh (muhahahahaha and all that). He knew exactly what he had to do to overthrow the Great ruler and in the process become the absolute undisputed ruler of all the land. (Muhahahahaha again)

He knew that the one issue that would certainly impact the people was the economy, and his plan was very simple really; he would make sure that the King committed unpardonable economic offences and then the people would never forgive him. After that, getting rid of the King would be easy and since Sinister would then become the greatest hero, his accession to the throne would be but a mere formality. (Muhahahahaha again)

And so, he set his plan in motion.




Chapter 7

 Alexander was a great king, no doubt, but his one biggest weakness was that he tended to trust people a bit too much. Whenever he was asked to sign any document, he did so without so much as a glance at what he was signing.

In fact, one of his rather dim witted ministers, who had aspirations to the throne himself, got the King to sign a document that handed over the entire power of the land to him. After he got the King to sign it, he did a dance, shouted his lungs out and proclaimed triumphantly that he was then the absolute almighty ruler of the land. The entire court, but for the great Emperor was in a state of total and absolute shock but the ruler calmly shook his head and said, “sorry my man but I signed it in blue ink and everyone knows that an official transfer of power can be only ratified if it is signed in black ink.”

Since no one actually knew of such a rule but were too dumbstruck by the absurdity of the argument, they could not even so much as open their mouth and so, in his typical manner, the King took this silence to mean compliance and said quite simply, “Terribly sorry, old chap but it looks like I won this time. Guards! Take him away… Now… where were we”, and that was that.





 Chapter 8

 So Sinister went about embezzling funds from the treasury and depositing them in illicit places, always making sure that all of it could easily be traced back to the King. He had the king’s signature on all the papers of course and the color of the ink didn’t really matter.

He did all this over a period of a week and in the end had transferred around one Million Trillion Dollounds in various illicit places. At the end of the week, he laughed out-Muhahahahaha-in happiness and was generally pleased with himself. In fact, he had already bought a scepter and a matching royal robe to go with it.

Tomorrow would be his day. His time was imminent.




 Chapter 9

 The next morning, all was well in the court of King Alexander. He was, as ever sitting on his throne and … well, just sitting. But today, the entire court was huddled in a hush silence. An intense game of GOFL(Go On, Finish Last) was in session and it was a titanic tussle between Tortie the tortoise and Snell the snail. Both both nearing the finish line, it truly was neck and neck.

It was at this time that Sinister made his entry into the court and upon seeing that no one really gave a damn about him, he coughed a little to gain attention. Didn’t work. He coughed again, this time a bit louder. Still didn’t work. Now he positively went into a rampaging, all-engulfing coughing fit that everyone in the court had to look at him and acknowledge him. Even Tortie got scared and went into his shell and Snell just looked bemused (if it is indeed possible for snails to look bemused).

Now that he had the attention he needed, he addressed the court, “I have a very important announcement…” He was cut short by the minister-of-short-cuts who said, “Cant it wait, Sinister? W’ve got a terribly exciting game going on here.” Completely ignoring him, Sinister continued “ … and it’s about the economy …” Suddenly, everyone’s attention was focused on Sinister. It was the effect of the magic ‘E’ word.

“So as I was saying, there has been a fraud to the …”

Again, he was cut short. This time it was the king himself. “The economy, you say? Hmmm… What about it?” “Well, m’lord, as I was saying” “Yes, yes… As you were saying…” “Yes m’lord, as I was saying…” “Indeed man. You have firmly established your point that you were indeed saying. Now say it”

Sinister was getting exasperated but he thought of the glory that lay ahead and kept his cool. “The economy…” Again it was the King. “Yes indeed. Funny old thing really, the economy. Money and all. Bemusing really. I mean …”

Sinister was near breaking point now but he had come too far to let it go. He interjected, “So, as I was saying my lord”, and without taking a pause even to breathe, continued, “ there has been an embezzlement of funds to the tune of one Million Trillion Dollounds” As he said the last two words, his voice leapt to a fever pitch, not so much because of his conviction but quite simple because of his utter breathlessness.





Chapter 10

 The entire court said “hunnnh”, as one would say when confronted with something that takes one aback, but only the sound here was made by the entire court, and in that hushed silence, Sinister left out his breath, just for dramatic effect (and also because he could no longer really hold it in).

He continued, “And the culprit is ….”

Before the culprit is revealed, we must take a moment to describe the reaction of the mighty Ruler to all this. He was unmoved. Now that we have taken a moment, we shall resume with the scene.

“The culprit is …”, paused for dramatic effect, turned around to face the Emperor, pointed an accusing finger, and said in the most dramatic voice that he could muster, “ ALEX-AND-ER.”

There was another “hunnnh” that followed this dramatic announcement and this “hunnnh” was way more dramatic than the previous one and also way more open mouthed. The entire court slowly turned towards the great Emperor.

Sinister turned to the Emperor and gave a triumphant smile as if to say, “Ha!” The Emperor finally began to take interest in the matter, and leaned forward.






Chapter 11

 Everyone was absolutely eager to know how he was going to defend himself and waited with bated breath for his response. The Emperor opened his mouth to speak and everyone just held their breath. And then, he spoke…

He asked quizzically, “And who?” Those were his exact words. Everyone was stunned beyond belief. Sinister was so flustered that he couldn’t bring himself to utter anything at all. He just gaped at the King and managed to mutter, “What??”

The King again asked, calmly and coolly, “And who?” In the meanwhile, it must be pointed out that the entire court did remember to release their breath but were still too stunned to speak.

“What do you mean ‘and who’?” demanded Sinister, now in a state of very high irritability. “Well, you were going to name the conspirators; you named one of them and were going to name the other when you abruptly stopped. Now I demand to know the name of the other,” said the Emperor with ever growing authority.

“What??” cried Sinister, just stopping short of pulling his hair out.

“Well, you said ‘Alex and er…’ and then stopped.  As your king, I demand that you name the other person involved in this heinous act.”

Now Sinister was absolutely livid. “Me?” he asked again, just to be sure.

“You?” asked the King.

“Me?”

“You?”

“Me?”

“You?”

“Me?” asked Sinister in a voice that was a mix between utter and total exasperation and absolute submission.

“Ha! So it was indeed you. Guards! Take this man away. He has admitted that he is indeed guilty of treason against the Kingdom. Issue an all points search out for a gentleman named Alex,” commanded the almighty ruler, raising himself from his throne and standing majestically tall, all six foot of him.

“Oh! And look …” he said cheerily, just as everyone was trying to get their senses back from utter chaos of the scene they had witnessed. “Tortie has won the game…”

So barmy, Oh so loony,

He was the one, he was the only.

So absurd, they couldn’t help but wonder,

Who else but Alexander the Blunder…



Cheers

Breakfast at Tiffany's

Jenna was pleased with herself. She looked at herself in the glass window of Tiffany’s, small deli that she frequented from time to time. She wore a black suit with a silk shirt and scarf. She adjusted her scarf and blew the loose strand of hair that fell over her face. She felt good. She had just closed a business deal that would make sure that her company got a big guaranteed income for the next two years and her, a nice beefy pay raise.

She was in a mood to celebrate. She looked at the time. It was 9 in the morning; too soon for a drink. ‘What better way to start off than pancakes and maple syrup’, she thought and went into the diner. To her surprise, the deli was nearly full with just a few seats scattered here and there, but no empty table.

Now, Jenna was a very pretty woman, and she knew it. She wasn’t arrogant but knew that she attracted more than a few stares. Naturally, she enjoyed flirting around a bit, and was in a flirtatious mood now.

She looked around the empty seats and her eyes fixed on a table where a man was seated alone and was apparently engrossed in his meal. She sized him up. He wore a pair of faded jeans with a casual checked shirt and a pair of Ray Ban aviator sunglasses. Now, those glasses looked good on most people but on him, they looked awesome. ‘Mmmm’, she thought, naughtily. He had sharp features and though he was seated, she could make out that he was quite tall and well built.

She walked over to the table and asked in a tone that was cool, ‘This seat taken?’ ‘Be my guest’, said the man in a matter-of-fact way, without so much as looking up from his breakfast. Quickly checking to see if he had seen her, and confirming that he indeed hadn’t, she took off her scarf, undid the buttons of her suit and sat down.

He still didn’t appear to take any interest whatsoever in her and she felt a slight pang. Well, she wasn’t used to being ignored, that’s for sure and she decided to restore some status quo. ‘Nice place this’, she said to which the man nodded, still not taking his eyes off his meal. Now, she was incensed and decided to take it up as a challenge. From somewhere, that hidden vanity had indeed raised its head and quietly, she was pretty happy that it had.

She adjusted her suit again and decided to try again. ‘I’ve heard that the pancakes this place serves are the best. I’m Jenna by the way’, she said, her tone cool and measured. ‘Can’t really comment on that. I myself never had anything other than the eggs and bacon’, he said finally looking at her and flashing a hint of a smile. ‘Oh and I’m Jake. Pleased to meet you’, he said and got back to his meal.

Now there was something seriously wrong, thought Jenna. She certainly expected a better reaction, once that he had finally seen her, but apparently he was not in the least bit interested. Now, she was nothing if not a fighter. She decided to pursue her case with a renewed vigor and began to make friendly talk with him, asking him about what he did, where he lived and the usual. He replied to all her questions, in a cool way and even asked her a couple of questions, all the while never giving the impression of being distant, but not showing too much eagerness either. He hardly ever seemed to show her more than a small smile from time to time and seemed to be more engrossed in his meal. After a while Jenna gave up and began to mentally curse this guy. ‘I mean… His loss, if he can’t see what he’s missing. His loss…’, she reassured herself.

He finished his meal and paid for it, leaving a generous tip. She could see that he was indeed well built and tall. She was still cursing him in his mind, when he got up to leave. He pulled on a baseball cap which was on the chair next to him, turned to her, smiled, said, in the nicest possible manner, ‘It was great talking to you’, unfolded his cane, which was kept in the chair beside him, tapped it on the ground in front of him a few times to make sure he got his positioning sense right, and went off, tapping the cane ahead of him, leaving Jenna stunned.

Beauty, it is said, lies in the eye of the beholder.

10 Reasons why I hate Sachin Tendulkar

1.       He always plays a brilliant innings before my exam and hence doesn’t let me study.

2.       Every time that I think of becoming an atheist, he gets into the nineties and I have no choice but to pray.

3.       Every time I take a resolution not to bite my nails, he gets into the nineties and I am left with no choice but to chew on my nails.

4.       He keeps all the records to himself.

5.       He makes a lot more money than me.

6.       He costs way too much on ‘super selector’ but since I have to pick him, the rest of my team gets weakened.

7.       During a match, invariably when I want to go to the bathroom, he hits a boundary and hence I have no choice but to sit and watch the replay.

8.       As soon as I convince myself that God does not exist, he plays a straight drive and proves me wrong.

9.       He brings the whole country to a standstill whenever he bats

10.   And the last and the biggest reason why I hate Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar …

He is going to retire sometime in the future…

 

Sachin Tendul'17K'ar

Two balls outside off stump. Both met with the full face of the bat but straight the fielders in the cover-point region. The next ball was slightly outside off; a small walk across the stumps and with the deftest of turns of the bat, the ball raced away down toward the vacant mid wicket boundary and he picked up three. The entire stadium went berserk, the entire country went mad with joy and yet the man himself was more interested in changing his bat. After selecting a bat that he felt was best, he turned to the crowd and acknowledged their cheers with just a gentle wave of the left hand as if to say, ‘Thank you folks, but I have some unfinished business to tend to.’ A milestone that was thought to be unattainable: 17000 runs in One Day Internationals, had just been achieved, and the only reaction from the man who got it? A nonchalant wave. There was a more important task in hand, winning the match. That, ladies and gentleman, sums up the man for you. It has, is and will always be ‘India first’.

What can further be said about the man who has carried the hopes of a nation on his shoulders for two decades? 17000 runs in ODIs, 30000 plus in all forms of the game, approaching a century of centuries and yet, the innate values remain the same; the same boyish charm, the same enthusiasm and the same passion that has driven this remarkable journey.

 Watching his innings last night, was a throwback to the nineties, not only did I witness the same uninhibited and free flowing innings that typified the man in the last decade of the 20^th century, but also the familiar theme of a lone ranger fighting against the tide, valiantly and not giving in, even when all the odds were stacked firmly against him. His innings was such a treat to watch that the commentators were quite lost for words. ‘Genius’, ‘Brilliant’, ‘Outstanding’, ‘Sensational’, ‘Incredible’ seemed to be the only words that were being spoken when he was batting.

His undying passion for the game and love for the country was highlighted further during the post match press conference. Looking at his forlorn face, you would never have guessed that here stood a man, who had scaled Everest already, had discovered a peak higher than it, and scaled that too. His disappointment at India having lost the match outweighed the sense of achievement; that, typifies the man. When Arun Lal asked him, ‘Sachin what keeps you going?’ He replied ‘I guess it’s the passion for the game and the desire to play for India.’ If anyone else had said this, they could be forgiven for sounding a bit clichéd but when Sachin says this, everyone has a lump in their throat because they all know that there is nothing but genuineness there.

So, 17000 has been scaled. 45 tons in One day cricket. He’s got most of the records that matter and keeps breaking his own. Yet, in spite of all this, he’s always due for a big score, every time he comes out to bat. ‘What next?’ one may be tempted to ask. Only Sachin can answer that.

He’s been called many things: ‘Master Blaster’, ‘The Little Master’, ‘Tondulkar’, ‘Genius’, ‘The little champion’ and many many more but ultimately, the great man will want to be known thus :

Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar – Indian Cricketer.

 

A New Dawn

He woke up; woke up to the same darkness that he woke up to every morning. He looked around and there was the same stillness all around. He tried to find something out of the ordinary but, as always, there was nothing. All around him was, everything was enveloped in the same dark stillness, save for the one fleeting faint ray of light overhead.

He grew more frustrated. At first, it only seemed natural, the darkness and the stillness. Soon though, he began to wonder; wonder beyond the dark, wonder of the one ray of light that kept appearing overhead from time to time, wonder about the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel.

The walls seemed to be closing in around him by the day. Either his enclosure was becoming smaller, or he was growing larger. He oft heard voices from the outside his walls of confinement, and had tried many a time to literally kick the walls down, but to no avail.

And so, he decided; decided that he had had enough; decided that he had been in shackles long enough; decided to break free.

Thus, he exerted, exerted himself, strained every last nerve and sinew and began to wade his way out of the stillness. Then strangely, as he began his struggle, he could feel the assistance of some invisible external force ‘pushing’ him toward his goal.

Buoyed by this, he soldiered on until he found an opening. At first, he gingerly pushed his feet through the orifice. His feet were free; free from the stillness. He experienced freedom for the first time. He moved his legs. With renewed vigor, he pushed himself until slowly he inched his way out of the confinement and soon, his whole being was free; free from the confines and shackles of the past nine months.

His baby blue eyes opened and he looked at the world for the very first time.

He had arrived.

 

As the morning sun, in the East, rose ,

In its glory, a great son arose.

From the depths of his mother,

Staring into the long blue yonder.

 

 

Cheers

 

Footnote : One day, I was just thinking about what a baby would probably feel inside his mother’s womb and there you go … This was actually an idea that came to me quite a while ago but because of my laziness more than anything else, I never did sit down and pen it, or rather type it down. But hey! Better late than never right J

 

 

The laces of change

Robert Smith was dressed in a brown tweed jacket. Under it, he wore a white shirt with blue pin stripes, and a pair of brown trousers. On his left hand was a Breitling timepiece, which kept time accurate to within 2 seconds a year, and on his feet were a pair of neatly polished brown leather shoes. On these shoes were a pair of well tied laces, the laces that were about to change Robert's life.

Robert Smith was late. This would not have bothered another man too much but for Robert, it was life threatening. Robert swore by his watch. There was a certain place that he had to be at a point in time, and he just had to be there. If there was something that had to be done at appoint in time, it just had to be done. He did not quite have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, but what he had, bordered on it. He left home, walked the two blocks to the bus stop in a minute and thirty four seconds, took the 8:15 bus to the office and stepped into his cabin at exactly fifty one minutes past eight.

On this particular day, a Tuesday, he was waiting at the bus stop, as usual, and could see the bus approaching. It was 8:14 and the bus was bang on time. He liked that. That was when fate played a cruel trick on him. He looked down and saw something he had not seen for eight years, three months and four days (yes, he kept count!) For a minute he was taken aback. How could it have happened? He had been as meticulous as he had ever been and yet ... What then had gone wrong?

While he pondered on this, the bus came ever closer to the bus stop and was nearly there. What could he do? Well, he couldn’t possibly step into the bus now, not in his current state. What was he to do?

Now, Robert was a methodical man, and his brain was a calculating one. He based his life on logic, and that logic now suggested that there was time enough to right the wrong.

So, he bent down, leaving his briefcase by his side, and got down to the business of tying his shoelaces that had come undone, all the while still trying to work out as to where he his tried and tested method had gone wrong that morning. Being the methodical man he was, he put in his all into the act of tying his laces. The left lace went over the right one to form a knot. Then the right one was held, while the left was looped around to form a bow knot, which was then fastened by pulling at both the ends. Satisfied with his handiwork, and still a bit perplexed, Robert stood up, straightened his jacket and looked up… only to see the rear of the 8:15 bus in the distance.

For a minute, his sensed numbed and he broke into a sweat. Something somewhere had conspired and had made him miss the bus, HIS bus. Then, the rational side of his brain took over. There was another bus at 8:25. He knew the time table by rote, of course. And thus, arose his next problem ... The wasted 10 minutes. He decided to use it constructively. He decided to find out what had gone wrong in the process of his tying the shoelaces. And so, for the next 10 minutes, he rattled his brain, trying to come up with an answer to what had gone wrong. And while he was deep in thought, the 8:25 came and went.

Now, he was positively flustered, bewildered and shattered, all the same time. His world, as he knew it, was crumbling around him. Yet again, his cool and calculating mind took over. He now knew that there was a bus at 8:30. He knew the time table by rote, of course. And so, he waited. Waited with bated breath for the arrival of the 8:30 and as soon as he saw it in the distance, his feet started twitching, his palms got sweaty and he was filled with nervous energy. He would not be foiled. Not for a third time.

He put all his effort into concentrating on the approaching bus, and no sooner had it stopped and the driver opened the door, than Robert was in the bus. He got his ticket punched and settled in his seat. It was 8:31 and for the first time since 8:14, he relaxed. He was on a bus, not his bus, but a bus, nonetheless. This was good.

Sitting back in his seat, his mind was going over the extraordinary incidents of the day, when his chain of thoughts was suddenly disrupted by the most unusual site he had seen. The bus had started, and there was this woman, running behind the bus, and having caught up with it, was banging on the door and willing the driver to stop the bus. To Robert, this was a novelty. After all, bus stops were the place to get on bus, right? The driver did try to drive on, but the lady's incessant banging on the door made him finally yield to her demand and he stopped the bus and let her in. She got in, got her ticket punched and had more than a few choice words to say to the driver. Robert thought no more of this, and went back to his thoughts.

Fate, they say, raises its head in odd places. In this case, it sat itself down, right opposite Robert. 'I mean, can you believe the cheek of the driver! Not stopping for a lady and making her run behind it for two whole blocks!' she prattled, to Robert. Now, if the day hadn't had more than its share of excitement for Robert, this was scaling new heights. 'I mean, look at the state of the country', she continued, before pausing and looking for Robert, presumably for assent. Robert simply did not know how to respond. He just nodded. That was enough. She took this as the cue and went on about the problems of the world and her life. Robert was completely perplexed. Here was a woman, quite a beautiful one at that, one he had never met in his life, telling him about the problems of the country, her family and even her dog!

And so, she prattled on until suddenly, without warning, she got up and said, 'Gotta run. My stop!' and got off. Nothing more, nothing less. Robert was bemused. He was so shocked that he couldn't bring himself to even call out after her to ask for her name. Never before, had Robert encountered anything remotely this bewildering. It was ... different. Soon, it was his stop and Robert hurried out and into his office, later than 8:51 for the first time in about nine years (8 years and 278 days to be precise). The rest of the day was an anomaly with Robert desperately trying to make up for the lost 15 minutes. Yet, try as he might, he simply couldn't manage it. He was quite simply, too well tuned.

And so, the day went by, all the while, with the nagging feeling of something just not being right, and Robert went to bed that night, and as always, rewound the entire day. He had run through the entire day a million times. His thoughts kept going back to the lovely lady from the bus. Try as he might, he quite simply could not get his thoughts away from her. He decided that he would do something that he didn't think he would ever do. He was going to break his long standing routine and miss the 8:15 bus to meet the woman and make sense of what happened that morning.  He slept.

The next morning, Robert arrived at the bus stop at his usual time and saw the 8:15 approaching. Torn between what his brain and heart were saying, he decided to side with his heart, just this once. And so, he missed the 8:15, and indeed the 8:25. He got on the 8:30 and took the same seat as the previous day.  He waited for the lady. He watched her stop come, and then go by. He waited. He waited with ever fading hope that she would present herself again. Alas! His stop had come. Dejected, he went into the office, later than 8:51 for the second day in a row.

He was bemused. Everyone did something at particular a time right? How could someone take a bus one day, and not take it the next. It was bewildering. It was as if his whole life, a life that he based on the intricate mechanics of time, was slowly coming apart. Perplexed, he spent the rest of the day musing over this and his life in general. Soon it was time to leave for the day.

Robert waited at the bus stop for the bus. Not his bus, the one that came 15 minutes after his. When it came, he got in and took the same seat that he had taken the previous day. When the bus started moving, his thoughts drifted and he looked out the window. Only, for the first time in his life, he didn’t just look, he saw. He saw children playing on the street, people playing with dogs and others sitting at the corners of the road and chatting. It was novel, just observing these people. He realized that he had been so self absorbed in his little life, that he had just never cared to see.

And then he saw this site. There was this park. A park that he knew existed, but one that he never really bothered about. He now saw it, lush green with a beautiful lake in the middle. In the corner of the park, below a beautiful oak tree, he saw it. It was a park bench. All alone, in the corner, under a tree. It was quite simply beautiful.

On an impulse, he got down from the bus at the nearest stop and went into the park. He was quite surprised that he had acted this impulsively, but secretly, was quite happy that he had. He approached the bench, removed his jacket, folded it and placed it on the bench, rolled up his sleeves, sat down, took in the serene scene around him, closed his eyes... and breathed. He felt a whiff of life.

Change, they say, is refreshing.

Cheers

Footnote: Inspired by the movie ‘Stranger than fiction’ and the comic genius of the inimitable P.G.Wodehouse.

The equation of life

According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the meaning of 'Nothing' is 'Not anything' .
That got me thinking and here's something ..

Nothing is not anything.
Anything is, well, any thing.
Now, any thing, is something.
Again, something is, some thing .. right ?
Cool.
So now, Everything is some thing. Agreed?
Super.

Now, everything is, ... you guessed it .. every thing.
And every thing, is certainly not every other thing.

Now, lets backtrack.

Everything is not every other thing.
Everything is not some other thing.
Everything is not any other thing.
Everything is not not not any other thing
Everything is not not nothing.

A double negation here.
Let us apply the rules of mathematics.
Negative of a negative is ... Positive.

So ...
You guessed it ...

Everything, is nothing.

QED.


So then, if everything is nothing, then what is nothing ??
Interesting eh ?

Cheers

Footnote: I was actually to give a presentation for about two and a half minutes on a topic of my choice. My initial topic was about the media and its sensationalism. But, as luck would have it, someone else spoke on that and I was just wondering on what to speak on when, in some context, I got the word ‘nothing’ ( maybe I got the word because, there was nothing in my mind at the moment! ). Naturally, my curiosity got aroused and I looked it up in the dictionary and ‘not anything’ was the meaning that I got. So I thought, why not give it a shot… Made this up in about 5 minutes… And well, the rest as they say, is History … And yes … This, as everything else,  is indeed nothing ...

Sin City

Italy, AD 2079

‘Old man Ves seems to be grumbling an awful lot today,’ said Fabio. ‘He has too much to complain these days, as all the old geesers do,’ replied Franchesco. ‘I can’t really see what he's upset about though. We have food, water and a living. Sure, crime is on an all time high, but what do you expect? I mean, it IS the land of the mafia,’ he continued in a matter-of-fact way.

Meanwhile, in a shady alley, not too far away, ‘The boss wants an even bigger cut from the cocaine market, Al,’ complained Danielle. ‘I think that the boss is getting too big for his own shoes. Looks like someone is gonna have to do something about it, and soon,’ retorted Alberto. And continued, ‘Say, what is it with old man Ves? What is he groaning and rambling on so much today anyway? You, maybe think that he's gonna finally erupt?’‘No way man. Haven’t you heard? Barking dogs seldom bite. Old man Ves is one such dog. Nothing more, nothing less,’ dismissed Dani.

‘I see the city for what it is. I see its true face. Steeped in layers of filth and grime. Hidden behind drug lords and criminal gangs. Murder, rape and extortion rampant in the streets. Children being made into slaves and peddlers at ages in which they ought not to even know the existence of any vice,’ scowled old man Ves.

‘It wasn’t always like this though. It was once a beautiful town. The most beautiful in the world and at its pinnacle, I stood. People were people then, and not the beasts they are today. There were flowing rivers and clean streets. Fields stretched in all directions and people lived real lives, not the sorry excuse for a life that they claim to have now. They lived those days. Today, they rat for an existence. It’s pathetic to even watch,’ rued the oldie.

‘Something must be done. No one is willing to stand up and be counted. No one has a spine any more. People are just happy to scavenge a living and let the town rot. After all, all they want is to be. It pains me to see that the world has come to this. Where is the bright sunshine and where are the vast open fields? Where is the laughter and merriment?’

‘All that remains is a sorry excuse for a town that was once glorious. I have given them a long enough rope and they don’t seem to be heeding to my warnings. I did not want it to come down to this, but I am afraid that I must take it upon myself to end this …. this farce,’ mused old man Ves, almost apologetically.

Thus seething in anger, Mount Vesuvius erupted, spewing his rage far, high and wide. He exploded in a blaze of glory, with golden lava flowing over the sides of the mountain and rapidly engulfing the entire town, burying all the filth and dirt and leaving it cleansed of the grime and crime.

Exactly 2000 years after a young Vesuvius has unleashed his fury on the unsuspecting town of Pompeii, he did so again. He then cooled down.

The town was in peace. After a long, long time, it slept, enveloping each and every inhabitant in a mist of slumber.

Footnote: This, I actually wrote for a competition, for publication in a magazine. I don’t think that they are going to publish it, so I though why not I publish it myself JThe last line, “The town was in peace. After a long, long time, it slept, enveloping each and every inhabitant in a mist of slumber” was given and we had to make a story based on that. Well, as soon as I saw that line, I remembered a story that we had in class 4 or 5, in our English text book about the town of Pompeii and what happened when Mt.Vesuvius erupted on that fateful day in AD 79. This was inspired from that. Also, people who read this, told me that there was a certain lack of continuity in the flow. I agree, but then I was working with a word limit of 500 word ( which I ended up exceeding anyway J ). Also, I imagined the setting to be like the city in ‘Sin City’ or Gotham City in ‘Batman begins.’ Well, this footnote has run into a foot paragraph, I see, but I felt that it must be told …

Cheers

They dont make 'em like that no more

I read a while ago about this place called 'Indian Coffee House', an institution in Bengaluru that was going to down its shutters very soon. There were glowering tributes from greats of the city like Ram Guha and others about how it had been a hub for the social and political stalwarts of the city for decades. Being a coffee afficando, I distinctly remember being really gutted about not having visited such a place, savored it and most importantly,

tasted the coffee.

 

Imagine my surprise and delight then, when, walking down Church Street ( parallel to MG Road ), I saw this non descript medium sized hoarding that simply said 'Indian Coffee House.' I thought it almost too good to be true. I read the board again to see if I had been right in what I saw. I mean, could it be? It was too good to resist and naturally, I went in.

 

To say that the place was 'bland' would not be an understatement. The walls were painted in an uninspiring tone of blue, with white splashed about here and there. The benches were of a plain wooden variety with equally plain wooden chairs. Most young people would probably be put off by this. After all, what sort of a "coffee joint" is this anyway? Well, it’s exactly that. A "coffee joint" in its truest form. Not the fancy ones that boast of English

music and couches. Just a joint that serves coffee, and my God ! What coffee !

 

I naturally ordered coffee and the bearer ( dressed in white, with a red turban), placed before me this cup of coffee. I say "cup" very deliberately because it was just that. A plain ceramic cup, no fancy logos or shapes on it, and a saucer to go with it, housed the coffee.

 

Now comes the best part, THE COFFEE. It was quite simply some of the best South Indian filter coffee that I have tasted. Not too light, quite strong, with the right amount of sugar. Perfect. It has to be tasted to be appreciated fully.( I went three times in a day and a half !)

 

The place also has other eats like French fries and scrambled eggs, just to name a couple. I tried the French fries. Not too good, I should say, but then, the accompanying cup of coffee more than made up for it.

 

To say that I fell in love with the place would be putting it mildly. I was positively floored.  A place that still has the old world charm in the midst of the modern and the urbane. I was really stunned by the kind of crowd that the place attracted. I could see old timers and youngsters in equal measures. It just goes to show that the place has still not lost its charm and that great coffee is, well ... great coffee.

 

 

Cheers

 

 

Let the games begin !!!

Another season is upon us and another thrill a minute ride is imminent. This season promises to be one of the most exciting yet, with money bags, Man City threatening to break the stranglehold of the "big 4". Here's my appraisal of the "new Big 5", so to speak:


Manchester United
Weakened in no small measure by the departures of the talismanic Cristiano Ronaldo, and the irrepressible Carlos Tevez, this season's squad looks to be thinner than any in the recent past. Although the arrivals of Antonio Valencia and Michael Owen have brought some respite, it remains to be seen as to how much of the void left by Ronaldo and Tevez will be filled. If he remains fit, there is no doubt that Owen will flourish and rightfully earn a recall into the England squad for the 2010 World Cup. With Ronaldo gone, the onus is definitely on Rooney now. He will, more often than not, this season be played in hes preferred central role and expect him to revel. Berbatov looks leaner, meaner and hungrier and has started the pre
season with renewed vigor, as if to prove a point. With Giggs and Scholes, not spring chickens any more, but still capable of putting in stellar performances, the rest of the squad must get their act together. The defence looks solid and the midfield coming together nicely. Hargreaves, when fit, will be like a new signing and he will be one of the most important players. Ben Foster looks nervy and Kuszczack looks just about passable. Van Der Sar looks to have one more season in him. Dont be surprised if Fergie signs Manuel Neuer,
from Schalke, in spite of his public backing for Foster. Valencia looks to be a solid buy and Nani seems to finally be coming good. The key to winning a fourth successive league title, is undoubtedly going to be the strength in depth of the team and how(and if) the "fringe" players come to the fore.


Chelsea
Yuri Zhirkov seems to be the only major signing for the Blues, but I believe that the most important signing they have made this season, is that of a certain Italian by the name of Carlo Ancelotti. He brings with him a winning mentality and also commands huge respect
from fans and players alike. Yet, there are bounf to be skeptics, especially after the same was said of Phil Scolari last season. The squad looks strong with the ever flourishing partnership of Drogba and Anelka up front. Being well covered in defence and midfield, it is only if either Anelka or Drogba get injured, that cracks might show in the Chelsea armor. They look a strong and solid and is Ancelotti can succeed where Scolari failed, and keep the team united, there is no doubt that they will be a force to reckon with and may even get their hands on that all elusive Champions league trophy.


Liverpool
As ever, a lot will depend on the fitness on Fernando Torres and Steven Gerrard. If the both of them should stay fit all through the season, there is little doubt that Liverpool will be challenging for all the major trophies, come the end of the season. I believe that Xabi Alonso's absence will be felt deeply and more pressure will be on Mascherano. It remains to be seen as to how well Aquilani will do in the Premier League. The defence looks a little wobbly, though they have the best 'keeper in the league. Yet again, the bench strength is not too awe inspiring and will have to drastically step up if Liverpool are to win it all, or anything at all.


Arsenal
Adebayor and Toure have gone. Two massive players and although Vermalen has been brought in as cover in defence, it remains to be seen as to how well he adapts to the Premier League. Up front, the return to fitness of Eduardo has been a lifeline to Arsene Wenger
but again, if he were to get injured, they will be found wanting, with Bendtner not looking too menacing. Wenger has once again kept his faith in youth and its about time that his faith is rewarded. A lot is expected of the likes of Walcott, Vela and Gibbs this term and if they can live upto their billing, it promises to be an exciting season indeed for the Gunners.


Manchester "money" City
After an outlay of close to a 100 million pounds on new signings, Man City finally look to be entering the big league. Undoubtedly, they seem to have the squad to compete for all trophies. While the signing of Carlos Tevez has been a coup of sorts, one may question the need of 10 strikers in the squad. The defence looks to be sort of solid, with the arrival of Kolo Toure and the midfield looks to be shaping up well with a good blend of attack and defence. It will be interesting to see how well Mark Hughes controls the egos in the dressing room and whether he players his best eleven, or 11 of his best players. Also, it remains to be seen as to how his players, especially the "big" ones react to his squad rotation policy. If it goes according to plan, then Man City will, no doubt, be challenging for the major honors, come the end of the season.

The corporate world beckons

End of life as we know it ... Or is it ?? Leavin tonight to Mysore to enter the "Corporate World" . It was a good two months at home, after 4 years of college. Just had time to say bye.
Not 'goodbye', just 'bye'. I dont think that I can access blogger from there, but thankfully, blogspot has given me the super tool called "mail to blog" .. So I hope to be posting sooner rather than later ...
Adios, for now ..
Godspeed and thanks for reading ... More to follow, I promise ...

Cheers

A sample crossword

A crossword I created a while back. Looking back now, most of the clues are very very simple. And the others??? Well,they're very simple. Nevertheless, I'm posting it. Have fun solving it. All comments welcome ....


Here's the link :


First Cross

Cheers

A few pointers

A few standard crossword norms to be used in clue setting and solving :

Ship --- SS
Nothing --- o
Sailor --- ab
Goggles/Glasses/Spectacles --- oo
Journalist/Editor --- ed
Soldier --- GI
Albert --- Al
Edward --- Ed
Gangster --- Al
Quiet --- sh
Left --- l
Right --- r
One --- i
Former --- ex
Accountant --- CA
East --- E
West --- W
South --- S
North --- N
The --- t ( when not used as a filler/ connector word ... How you interpret it, is of course, the question. You'll get better as you keep doing more crosswords )
Numbers --- usually Roman numeral representation ( for eg. Hundred is C etc.)
oddly --- odd letters
evenly --- even letters
regularly --- letters selected in some regular sequence  (usually 1 or 2 apart)
in/contained --- the word is contained in the parent word or is more often than not in the conjunction of  two  words
Words in the middle of the clue with Capitalized first letters --- The first letter
Proper nouns --- first letter(s) (For eg. Royal Air Force is RAF)
heartless --- word minus the middle letter
endless --- word minus the last letter
Perhaps --- er
somehow --- word, in some form, usually a part of it
hollow/within the limits(or boundaries) of --- Only first and last letters of the word
going up/backwards/turned back --- word in reverse ( for eg. 'it' turned back( or going up) is 'ti' )
girl --- usually represents a girl's name ( like eve or anna etc. )
Anagram indicators
------------------------
Altered
Disturbed
Mixed
A sort of
Concocted
Stirred
Cooked



I'll keep adding stuff as and when I remember  or come across more ....
Pl. feel free to add others in the comment section

Cheers

Lets clue !!!

Right ... So we're solving crosswords now. The next step?? Why, making clues of course. How many times have we seen the solutions in the paper the next day and felt "Oh! come on now .... That was a sad clue. Even I could have framed a better one." So whats stopping you then? Go ahead.. You'll soon find that you'll quite enjoy cluing and soon enough, you'll start cracking more crosswords simply because you will now be tuned to the mind of a cruciverbalist and will be looking at clues from the point of view of a crossword setter.

Now, creating a clue is simple enough. All you have to do is to break down a word, give its meaning and then somehow, cryptically, clue it. Sound simple enough, and it is. But the real catch is creating clues that are of an acceptable standard.

Here are a few basic ground rules :

1. Every clue, MUST have an indicator to the meaning of the solution.
2. Do NOT over complicate the clues, keep 'em simple.
3. Shorter the double definition clues, the more elegant they are.
4. Use standard abbreviations and annotations while cluing.
5. Try to keep the clues as short as possible.
6. Take care of the tense. ( If the clue indicates the past tense, the solution must be in the past tense as well.)
7. Do not use too many connector words. Use only those that are absolutely necessary. (Connector words are those that do not have any role to play in the solution but are necessary to maintain the grammar of the clue.)
8. Clearly give indicator word for anagrams.
9. Homophones must be indicated as best as possibly by placing the indicator words such as "loudly" or "overheard" close to the homophone, and not the solution. (For eg. Put a lid on the loud rooster(4) means 'cork' and not 'cock'. )
10. Avoid ambiguity. Make your clues as precise as possible.

Most importantly, HAVE FUN !!!

 

Cheers

Carlito's way

He came under a cloud. Gave an all action performance. Endeared himself to the fans. Scored a fair amount of goals. Worked his socks off .... and two years later, went Blue. That's Carlos Tevez for you.

His arrival in England was nothing sort of sensational. Both he and his fellow countryman, Mascherano were signed up by West Ham in what can only be called a sensational coup. In truth, it was one of the most complicated deals in the history of the game in which both players were bizarrely, not owned by a club but by a company, or in particular, one Mr. Kia Joorabchian. After a slow start to life in the Premier League, he quite came alive in the second half of the season and helped West Ham beat the drop with some sensational performances, and a particularly stunning goal against who would turn out to be his future employers. After helping West Ham to beat the drop, he did what any player in his position would have. He answered the door when Manchester United came calling.

A two year loan deal, with an option to make the deal permanent, was signed and soon Carlos Tevez was the new number 32. His first goal for United was a super one. A diving header at the near post against Chelsea. More goals followed and he, along with Wayne Rooney and a certain number 7 were the fulcrum of the United team that went on to retain their Premier league crown and also won the Champions League (in which he scored a penalty in the shoot out in the final). All was well.

Then came what could possibly be called the beginning of the end. Berbatov was signed and was put straight into the first team. At first, it wasn't much of an impact as Ronaldo was injured and so Rooney, Tevez and Berbatov were accommodated. But soon, Ron was back and Carlos was, more often than not, relegated to the bench. His frustration was for all to see and this was compounded by the fact that Berbatov did not seem to adapt to the United playing style well either. Soon, cracks began to emerge with Carlos stating that he wasn't too happy with the situation and who could blame him!

As the season progressed, it became evident that he would, more likely than not, be plying his trade away from the theater of Dreams very soon. His last appearance for Manchester United was the Champions league final, in which he was introduced as a second half substitute. In his last few games, he performed to the hilt, as ever, and scored a few.

Then came the announcement in the summer that Carlos Tevez had declined the offer of 25 million pounds that United were offering for his services and would be moving out. Duly, he was signed by Manchester City for around the same amount and will indeed wear the number 32 jersey.

All the noise he was making was that he had not been treated with respect, and that he was not getting enough game time, hence feeling unwanted. Fair enough, until you consider his decision to join City. Apart from Tevez, they have 6 other strikers on the payroll. Now if Mark Hughes decides to rotate his squad from time to time, it'll be interesting to see what happens.

At the end of the day, Red became blue. Tevez became a cityzen. All the best mate. Lets just hope for your and everyone else's sake that you win at least as many, if not more trophies in your ENTIRE spell at City than your two glorious years at Man United...
Cheers

15 of the best !

                                                 

WIMBLEDON 2003

AUSTRALIAN OPEN 2004

                                                           

     WIMBLEDON 2004

                        

                                

           US OPEN 2004

                                                    

          WIMBLEDON 2005

                                               

                   US OPEN 2005

                         

                          

        AUSTRALIAN OPEN 2006

                                    

                           

WIMBLEDON 2006

                                        

                    

                                               

  US OPEN 2006

                                                    

    AUSTRALIAN OPEN 2007

         

                                                   

  WIMBLEDON 2007

                                    

                                                              

     US OPEN 2007

        

                                                         

  US OPEN 2008

            

                                                  

FRENCH OPEN 2009

                                                            

WIMBLEDON 2009

                                  

Cheers

Fifteen with love

                 

Sampras' seemingly unbeatable record of 15 grand slams has been overhauled. All 4 majors have been won. The no.1 ranking has been reclaimed and all the while grace, poise and elegance has been maintained. Thats Roger Federer for you. peRFect.

If someone had told you about 10 years ago, that a Swiss would become the greatest player of all time, you would probably have laughed, and so would I. But it has happened. Not only has Roger Federer become the most successful player player in Grand Slam history, but has also done it by playing a brand of tennis that can only be described as, well, magical.

When he first burst onto the scene, it was all guns blazing. A victory over the mighty Pete Sampras at Wimbledon ( which ironically became Sampras' last match on the lawns of SW19 ). He had arrived on the scene.

The years that followed can only be described as 'The Federer Era' and there was hardly a hiccup( except in the clay of Paris, which a certain matador from Spain called his own ). Major after major came his way, and world #1 was a given.

Then came 2008. The year, I am sure that tennis fans will remember for a long long while to come. It was when Federer was dethroned as the king of England( well, of Wimbledon at least). In what was the longest final in Wimbledon history and perhaps, the greatest final ever, Rafael Nadal prevailed over Federer to add insult to the injury blows that he inflicted on Federer in the final of the French hardly a month before. And now doubts arose.

Naturally, whispers started of Federer losing it and not having anything left in him. These soon turned into full blown shouts when he lost his world #1 ranking to Nadal later that year. But just as great champions do, Federer won the US Open, albeit not playing the best tennis that he is capable of.

And this vulnerability was yet again exposed by Nadal when he beat Federer in the final of the Australian open. The scenes that ensued will certainly be fresh in the minds of all tennis fans. Federer breaking down and sobbing hysterically with Nadal, in what can only be described as one of the greatest shows of sportsmanship that the sport has ever seen, consoling him. This was probably a bit too much for Roger and soon enough, the axe was wielded and the guillotine lowered.

Yet again, as only great champions can, he rose from the ashes, to claim the one major trophy to elude him. He won the French open in some style and thus joined the pantheon of greats like Don Budge, Rod Laver, Andre Agassi and others, to be only one of a select few to hold all 4 major trophies. He had indeed come a full circle.

Then came Wimbledon and another epic final. Andy Roddick gave as good as he got and a bit more but in the end, Roger Federer had done it. He had eclipsed Pete Sampras to become THE HISTORY MAN ! The Undisputed king. Whats more, he's got his #1 ranking back.

His critics will always say that he never had the competition that other great players like Sampras or Borg had. You know what? It only seems that way because he was head and shoulders above the rest. The competition that Borg had can very well be equated to the competition that Federer had without any disrespect to the players of either eras. The difference was that while Borg and Sampras were ahead of the competition, Federer was well ahead and well, as they say, it gets quite lonely at the top.

He does not have the biggest serve; Roddick does. He does not have the best forehand; Djokovic probably does. He does not have the best backhand; Richard Gasquet does. he does not have the best physique or legs; Nadal does. But you know what? He has what it takes to be a champion, and a great one at that; probably the greatest.

 Kudos to the great man.


Cheers

That boy Ronaldo !!!

6 seasons. 292 appearances. 118 goals. 49 assists. Now he's gone, and United are richer by 80 million pounds. Thats Cristiano Ronaldo's Manchester United career at Old Trafford. He came in as a "phenomenal talent" and left as a "superstar", probably the biggest of 'em all. A stepover here, a nudge there. A dive here and a fantastic strike there. This was pretty much what he was about.

When he was bought for 12 million pounds six years ago, quite a few eyebrows werre raised as he was quite an unknown identity. No sooner than he had made his sparkling debut, than people realised that the unknown 'X' was quite simply the 'X-Factor'. His first couple of seasons, or the first three even, were quite inconsistent peppered with flashes of brilliance. He was still growing.

Then came the first of three brilliant seasons in which he so famously won the wager with Sir Alex when he scored more than 20 that season. The season started off on a sour note with the Rooney red card incident at the world cup. He was getting stick wherever he played( Well, except OT of course !!). But then he won over the fans with a series of stunning displays. He was developing his game and with it learning to deal with superstardom too. He was still growing.

Then came the season to end all seasons. 42 goals in 49 appearances to go with a Premiership medal and a champs league medal. He simply decimated all and was crowned both the European and World Footballer of the year. He was quite simply on another planet and well, vini vidi vici. Inevitably Real Madrid came calling and quite frankly, United were lucky to hold on to him for another season. But the signs were ominous and it was only a question of when rather than if he would leave. He had grown.

Then was his last season at OT. His supposed "not so good" season. Yeah, it produced only 26 goals. Not so good indeed. Well, the season started off badly as he had a surgeory on his ankle and was out of the game for the start of the season and when he got back, he did look more than a little jaded. Worst of all, he looked as if his heart was quite simply not in it. His attitude did improve as the season progressed and so did his form. Another premier league medal and a Champs league runners up medal. Towards the end of the season, the signs were ominous. The pure petulence on being substituted was well, inexcusible. But then the second half against Tottenham showed us the boy's class and well, it was one last swansong.

Then came the inevitable. Manchester United had accepted a world record 80 million dollar bid from Real Madrid for the the services of a certain Cristaino Ronaldo, and just like that, he was off. The worst part of it was the reaction of all the United fans all over the world. A "we dont need him" attitude. I'm sorry guys, have a li'l respect for the guy and for all that he gave us.

He was brilliant. He was infuriating. He was arrogant. He was pure genius. He was quite simply the guy you would just love to hate. He may well be a whigner. He may well be a spoilt rich brat. He may not have defended or worked hard enough for the team. He may have thrown tantrums and dived on the slightest contact but you know what?? All we can do is look back and say..."That boy!Ronaldo !!"

Adios amigo. Its been a good six years. Thank you for the memories and... Godspeed
Cheers

Crossie part 3

And we're back ...

Now onto #4 ...

4. Workable clues

These are perhaps the most advanced of all the types of clues. These are the ones that get you to use your(and my) grey cells that lay dormant most of the time :)...
These are the clues in which, almost every single word in the clue has some part to play in the formation of the final answer.
The clue usually has the defenition of the answer in it, and the rest of the clue has hints to form the entire word.
Here's an example :

                        Beloved one shows courage, sheltering a liberal(7)
                        The answer: Darling 

Lets break it down, shall we ?
one shows courage : daring.
liberal : L.
so daring sheltering l is l in daring goves darling.
And of course, beloved one : darling !!

Another one:

                    Well mannered, but showing anger about penalty(7)
                    The Answer: Refined 
anger in crossie terminology is red ( as in red with anger)
penalty is fine.
red and fine together make refined ...


Well these clues are perhaps the most difficut to crack at first attempt but as you keep solving, you'll get better at them and in time understand the beauty of these clues.

5. Hybrid clues

These are just as the name suggests, mix and match of any of the above 4 types of clues. There maybe workable clues in which there are anagrams that are parts of the answer.


So thats a basic wrap of the different types of clues found in crosswords.
SO the next time you come across these grids in the newspapers, go ahead, give 'em a try ... You never know, you could just end up becoming an addict.
But a word of caution, like most other things, you have to be patient ... Dont expect to complete the crossword, the first time you try it ...
I would suggest THE HINDU CROSSWORD as it's undoubtedly THE BEST one there is out there. The crossies on the other newspapers are just simple trivia type in which you dont actually get to appreciate the wordplay and the skill of the cruci ..

Cheers

p.s Check out the blog called http://www.crosswordunclued.com/
Absolutely brilliant and a much much more in-depth tutorial ..

Crossie part 2

Right, so lets begin..
There are basically 5 kinds of clues :

1. Straight clues
2. Double defenitions
3. Anagrams
4. Workable clues
5. Hybrid clues



1. Straight clues

Very simple. Direct defenitions of the answers form the clue.
For eg. :

They show up the player’s(or umpire’s) skills in retrospect (6,7)
Answer: Action Replays
Easy enough, eh? Well the thing is that sometime the most apparent of answers don’t strike you and so more often than not, you’ll find that these direct clues are the ones filled up towards the end, once you’ve got letters of the answer from the solutions of different clues.

Another one ….
One like Mao? (8)
Answer : Chairman



2. Double Defenitions
These clues generally are very short. These clues can be decomposed into two distinct parts, each a different meaning of the answer to the clue.

For eg. :
The Language of the Britisher(7)

Now break it down into 2 parts:
The Language
Britisher

The answer to this is “ English “
English is obviously a language and a Britisher is English ….

Another example :

Apply the sqeeze on the print media(5)
Answer : Press … pretty straightforward ….



3. Anagrams
Now, we come to the more challenging clues.

An anagram is a type of word play, the result of rearranging the letters of a word or phrase to produce a new word or phrase, using all the original letters exactly once. (Read the wiki article for more)

Right, so coming to the clues with anagrams, here’s one :

Fish, an amber sort (5)
The answer : Bream ( an anagram of Amber )


Now, how do you discern that the clue is an anagram?
Look for words that indicate that the answer is an anagram of a part of the clue. In the above clue, the hint is the word “sort”. From this you can decide that it is an anagram, and since the answer is 5 letters and the only 5 letter word in the clue is “amber”, its quite simple, isn’t it? Well then again, figuring out the word to be anagrammed is the easy part. Figuring the actual
answer is the more hard part…

Here’s another :

A disturbed sister has the power to oppose (6)
Answer : Resist ( Anagram of “sister” )
The tell-tale word here is “disturbed”

And another :

A conifer from a cadre altered (5)
Answer : Cedar ( anagram of “cadre”)

So look for these words to check if the clues are anagrams.Also, these clues will be complete, as in, apart from the anagram part of it, the rest of the clue will also be an indication to the answer. Like, in the above clues, a cedar is a conifer and to resist is to oppose.

Some of the words that usually indicate anagrams are:
Altered
Disturbed
Mixed
A sort of
Concocted
Stirred

More to come ...




Cheers